Dealing with a relationship break down

Dealing with a divorce or a break-up can be an incredibly difficult, stressful, and emotional experience in one's life. Often a break-up can bring on a range of different and conflicting emotions including feelings of grief, sadness, denial, disbelief, anger, fear, and confusion. It is normal to feel these things after a break-up and it can take time to start feeling like yourself again. Although, it may feel as though you may never feel happy again it is important to remember that with some support and time you will pull through. Some things to remember during this period are:

  • 1.It takes time

It can be extremely difficult to acknowledge and come to terms with the break-up. Accept the fact that some days might be better than others might, but it will get better over time. The important thing is to not to fight those feelings but to acknowledge that you are grieving and feeling those emotions. Avoiding or fighting against those emotions can prolong the process. As difficult as it can be, recognising and acknowledging your emotions can help to decrease the intensity and frequency of those feelings over time.

  • 2.Prioritise taking care of yourself

It is normal during the break-up period to feel unmotivated and find that your sleep and appetite is negatively affected. Be kind to yourself and look after yourself by eating a healthy diet, engaging in regular exercise, getting some good sleep, and focusing on doing the things that you enjoy

  • 3.Talk to someone

Dealing with a break-up is hard, let alone having to deal with it on your own. Take the time to reach out to one or a few support people that you trust such as your family, friends, or a counsellor. It is important to have someone you can talk to and express your feelings, and feel supported

  • 4.Express yourself

Often during a break-up, it is common to feel overwhelmed by a range of emotions. During this period, it can be helpful to release some of those built-up feelings by expressing yourself in whichever way feels comfortable. For instance, it can be helpful listening to some music you enjoy, painting, writing, exercising or meeting up with your family and friends

  • 5.Don't take it personally

After a break-up, it is normal to blame yourself for the cause of the relationship breakdown. Although this is a common, it can turn into an endless and vicious cycle of self-blame which can become extremely harmful. Often it can be helpful to view the relationship breakdown as the result of incompatibilities or needs not being met. Sometimes people are just not compatible and often are unable to fulfil each other's needs.

  • 6.Reach out

The recovery process after a break-up can take some time however if you are finding that every day you are continuing to struggle and feeling the same intense emotions, it might be worth considering seeking some professional help such as a counsellor or a therapist.

  • 7.Remember

Relationship breakdowns are often a painful experience but it's important to remember that with time and a strong supportive network, it does get better and there is a light at the end of that tunnel

(Image by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash) 

Coping with Grief
Practicing Self Compassion

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